10. 04. 17 / Views
We need to talk

Most people shy away when they hear those words.

And most of the pressing issues today are being shied away from because they’re uncomfortable to talk about. But we need to talk about these things if we want to solve them.

So, I finished Netflix’s 13 Reason’s Why last week. I wasn’t looking forward to watching it because I kind of forgotten about it the minute I finished reading it. The message of the novel is important, but it didn’t leave a huge impact on me back in 2012. However, I still decided to watch it out of curiosity and because I wanted to remember what happened without re-reading the book 1I’ll probably still re-read it because who am I kidding?.

This is not a spoiler-free review. I think it’s one of those shows that is needed to be watched in full before being discussed.

First and foremost, I would like to applaud the whole cast and crew for doing such a good job. Most of the actors are fresh and new but they acted so well and gave the characters life.

Flashback: Hannah leaving a convenience store after being sexually assaulted by Bryce.

Present day: Clay outside the convenience store where Hannah was sexually assaulted.

I loved that the series had two timelines–flashback and present-day. And that they used different color gradings to distinguish the two–everything was bright and sunny while Hannah was still alive and everything turned gray and blue when she died.

But what I loved the most was that they didn’t water down the graphic scenes of rape and suicide. They showed it full-on, no holds-barred.

Hannah’s suicide scene. Please tell me if this is too much for you, I’ll take it down immediately.

Don’t get me wrong, I hate gory scenes. I love watching horror films but count me out if there’s a gory scene. However, it’s important to show the whole rape and suicide scenes without sugar-coating anything because that’s how it is in real life. It’s not quick, it’s painful and slow. I actually watched the suicide scene peeking through my fingers because it was so heartbreaking to watch Hannah end her life. And when her parents found her I just about lost it.

Also, I love how this series shows the importance of parent-child relationship. Hannah had a good relationship with her parents but they didn’t talk much regarding her issues. I guess she didn’t want to tell them because she thinks she’d add more to their problems 2They were having financial problems at the time..

I can relate so much to Hannah in that aspect because Filipino parents aren’t known as being straightforward with their children. I didn’t get “the talk” growing up, I had to learn through school 3I studied in Catholic schools my whole life and we watched animated videos in Biology when the topic of reproductive system was brought up. See, sex-ed does matter, Catholic schools. and by reading novels. I was only told to avoid having a romantic relationship until I’m an adult and to avoid becoming pregnant until I’m married.

They’re sensible advice but the discussion ended there. My parents aren’t great with talking about sensitive issues because they’re conservative. Like Alex’s dad, they like to sweep it under the rug. But we need to talk about things head-on in order to understand each other best.

My mother actually caught me watching this show while Jessica’s rape scene was playing. Of course her first reaction was anger and disgust. She thought it was a sex scene I was watching. TBH, I don’t think her impression would change if she knew it was a rape scene. Of course she’d find it appalling but why would I watch such a thing? Why would anyone? The thing is, these things do happen in real life and we can’t look away from it or else we risk someone becoming another Hannah or Jessica.

As for the ending, I have a love-hate relationship with it because it’s so open-ended, which is a good thing if they’re going to make a second season. I’m just not sure if I want one because the premise of the show has been fulfilled–we now know the 13 reasons why Hannah killed herself. But of course, I do want to know what happened to the other characters’ story lines. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. And who am I kidding? I’d definitely watch season 2.

Also, am I the only one in love with the soundtrack? The songs and their lyrics are always right for the scene :heart:

Life lately

I meant to publish this right away but couldn’t find the time to write it in the midst of organizing my requirements for my new work and other social activities. I actually went out a lot with my high school friends 4Yes, friendships after high school do exist :lol: last week, which is a pleasant surprise.

I have also been busy packing because we leave early Wednesday to Iloilo, my mother’s home province. Our flight back is Monday night next week but I’ll bring my laptop with me so I can return your comments and possibly post something 5I have a lot of drafted posts that I couldn’t seem to finish lmao..

Footnotes   [ + ]

1. I’ll probably still re-read it because who am I kidding?
2. They were having financial problems at the time.
3. I studied in Catholic schools my whole life and we watched animated videos in Biology when the topic of reproductive system was brought up. See, sex-ed does matter, Catholic schools.
4. Yes, friendships after high school do exist :lol:
5. I have a lot of drafted posts that I couldn’t seem to finish lmao.

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22 Comments | Leave one? ⇡

    On April 10th, 2017, Sakura said,
  1. How’s your new work going?

    I don’t know anyone who is doing liberal arts. What is it about?
    Sakura recently posted Lousy results for my class test in Network SecurityMy Profile


  2. On April 10th, 2017, Sakura said,
  3. Ahh… I can’t fail though. It will lead to many complications if I do. :tear:
    Are you in journalism? I think I remember that you mentioned it before…
    Sakura recently posted Beauty and the Beast music videos~My Profile


  4. On April 11th, 2017, Elisa L. said,
  5. i’ve told you on twitter but now i’m gonna say it again: i haven’t watched this and i need to! but i don’t mind spoilers so i’ll read this post anyway haha

    even though i haven’t watched the series yet, i also have this intuitive feeling that i’ll like the series MORE than the book. in the book, hannah’s reasons were not relatable for me. i don’t want to ridicule her reasons for committing suicide because suicidal people have different triggers. but i didn’t feel any intense connection with the book. when i read it in high school, i honestly didn’t understand why people babied this book so, so much. but since the series actually show us more and the reasons being reenacted, i think that’s the reason why it’s gonna be so much more interesting and relatable.

    i think it’s typical asian parental issue, not having the serious talk whether it’s about mental health or sex. my parents are the same. since you mentioned hannah had a nice relationship with her parents, mine is different. my parents are the typical narrow minded, conservative baby boomers who are constantly paranoid and think that all guys just want sex (while this may be true to fuckboys in general, there ARE good guys too.) i didn’t grow up having the talk and stuff. didn’t get any sex ed either, lol. my parents are definitely the kind who’d oppose intimacy and sexual explorations. the humane act of sex disgusts them too and they think it’s taboo. it’s stupid, really. anyway, i won’t go on a complete “why i hate baby boomers” rant on your blog, lol.

    i hope i get to watch the series soon and stop procrastinating :lol:
    maybe then we can talk about it on a more thorough level.
    Elisa L. recently posted What I Put On My Face Is None Of Your BusinessMy Profile


  6. On April 11th, 2017, Kenny said,
  7. I’ve always had difficulty talking with my parents, but my situation is different from most people. Not only is English not their first language and they’re very traditional-minded Asians, I have a severe communication disorder. Having a deep, intimate two-hour talk where both of us cry and hug in the end is just not an option for us. It’s been difficult to deal with, but I’ve accepted this long ago.
    Kenny recently posted Here’s my video pitch for BuzzFeed: A group of YouTube commenters who are actually witty and charming eating cake, or possibly some sort of fight to the deathMy Profile


  8. On April 11th, 2017, Eena said,
  9. I honestly have been avoiding watching this TV show. When I read the book, I was much younger and I think still in high school so it left me feeling some type of way. I’m scared that if I watch it, I’ll be bawling my eyes out :(

    cabin twenty-four
    Eena recently posted Highway to the Danger ZoneMy Profile


  10. On April 11th, 2017, Shenna said,
  11. After knowing the scene had a rape scene, I have second thoughts of watching it. haha. This movie just appeared on my feed and like everyone is almost watching it. I have to agree with you that our culture is not open to talking about sensitive issues to our parents. I mean I wouldn’t also want to speak to them about that :) haha ashamed lol


  12. On April 11th, 2017, Joy M said,
  13. When I was younger I thought all the other kids had the “talk” with their parents and I didn’t. I agree most Filipino parents aren’t very open about topics like that…

    “Yes, friendships after high school do exist” – Hear, hear! To me they’re the ones that stay more solid over time :-D


  14. On April 12th, 2017, Xian said,
  15. I thought this is only an article! AHAHAHA!
    So it was a novel and then turned to a series :)
    I’m not really a fan of western series but i love to read this.

    When someone has problem and never tell to anyone, it tends to build to yourself and may sometimes can destroy you. Learning from the past experience, communication is really important and open ears.

    My mom is very open to such topics so we grew up knowing all the things she hated to happen to us :) Well she’s not strict but always giving us a reminder :D Well it’s good too and who doesn’t want their child have a good future? :D My dad on the other hand is very silent but he can give advise whenever you need him :) I’m glad somehow our family has an open communication :D

    But sometimes me, I happen to keep things that I don’t want them to worry. When we had that time I call our “downfall” i was so depress I was thinking of suicide as well XDDD But I guess God knocked on me and made me think~ :D I realize it wasn’t the real solution but just another problem that wont solve anything :)

    Now whenever I get depress or sometimes anxiety just hits me. I am thankful for my fandom for always making me happy and keeping on my senses! AHAHAHA!

    Open Communication, Open Mind, Life Support, Forgiving and Faith. I guess this was our salvation :D
    Xian recently posted A day with Mt. TalamitamMy Profile


    On April 19th, 2017, Gillan replied:

    @Xian, I’m glad you have an open communication with your parents! I envy you!
    Also, I’m glad that you decided suicide wasn’t a solution. I admire you for that :)
    Aww, your friends (online and offline) are always here to listen to your problems. We gotchu fam! :heart:


  16. On April 13th, 2017, Michelle said,
  17. I just watched the first episode but I have to stay away from this show. Too much triggering things that I have heard of. I am sad because it seems like a poignant show for sure.
    Michelle recently posted Switching Memories At Life Near The VergeMy Profile


  18. On April 13th, 2017, Claudine said,
  19. I’ve been meaning to watch 13 Reasons Why, but I’m generally not a fan of books being made into TV series since they deviate from the material. Maybe I will since I heard the series was really good, but if they made a second season maybe I wouldn’t.

    Wow, I’m surprised that your parents didn’t talk to you much about sensitive and controversial issues. I didn’t know many Filipino parents still don’t find the need to do it. I thought that at this day and age everyone had those talks because, well, my parents discussed them with me.

    HAHAHA I LOL’d at the animated videos part. So how was it? Was it funny? Weird? XD
    Claudine recently posted Long weekend at the Yehliu GeoparkMy Profile


    On April 13th, 2017, Claudine replied:

    Oh and in response to your comment on my post…

    My ukulele is made of mahogany wood. It’s one of the most common wood for ukulele and produces a great sound – the trademark ukulele sound, if you know what I mean! :) I’ve tried other types of wood especially when I was choosing which one to buy, but I always went back to mahogany ones!

    I also recommend that you invest in a good ukulele early on. It may be tempting to buy the cheapest one you can find, but I actually recommend stepping it up a bit and buying the most expensive one you can afford. It doesn’t have to be top-of-the-line, just not the cheapest. The cheapest ones are of brittle wood so they break easily, and the sound is not very clear as well.
    Claudine recently posted Long weekend at the Yehliu GeoparkMy Profile


    On April 19th, 2017, Gillan replied:

    @Claudine, I’m glad you had the talk with your parents! :heart:
    It was weird and, of course, being the immature elementary kids we were, funny :lol: It wasn’t cringey at all, like you’d expect, watching with adult teachers in the room haha
    Thank you! Will definitely save my first paycheck to buy a good quality ukulele ^^


  20. On April 14th, 2017, Rosy said,
  21. This actually sounds like something I’d be interested in seeing, my mum also walked in once on me watching a rape scene (was in a historical drama about Henry 8th) and was appalled too.

    Rosy | Sparkles of Light Blog
    My Instagram | Instagram
    Rosy recently posted Guest Post From Felicity Everett – Author of The People at Number 9My Profile


  22. On April 15th, 2017, Nancy said,
  23. I’ve heard a lot about 13 Reason’s Why lately. I agree that the only way to solve some pressing issues these days is to talk about it. Sweeping it under the rug will only make the problem worse. I haven’t seen it yet but can feel the vibes of the show from reading feedback about it.

    Parent-child relationships are very important. There needs to be transparency and either side needs to be fair because the moment the parent shows discomfort, the child won’t feel comfortable with talking about their issues with the parent. I never got the talk from my parents either… It’s awkward whenever I’m with my parents and some rated R scene somewhat pops up. I mean this is happening in real life and need to talk about it.

    Hope you’re enjoying your new work!


  24. On April 17th, 2017, Mei said,
  25. At first I was excited about this because I read the book and I am looking forward for the adaptation. But I guess they did really good because of the scenes you mentioned, also from what I read on Twitter.

    But now I am hesitant because of such scenes. I don’t think I am ready for it. I read the book so I can imagine it already and I have also listened to a few tapes on the website before. And just by that I am already scared. What more if I see the actual scenes on screen!

    Still, who knows, I might have the courage to watch it one of these days. Hehe
    Mei recently posted Bonding with the Family at Las TiendasMy Profile


    On April 19th, 2017, Gillan replied:

    @Mei, that’s okay! It’s definitely your choice to watch it ^^


  26. On April 18th, 2017, Chynna said,
  27. 13 Reasons Why made me cry like a baby. I remember reading the back a few years back, and like you I completely forgot about it. I can’t lie, I found Hannah extremely annoying.

    I definitely have to applaud the whole cast and crew, as well! This was such a difficult and touchy subject to draw on and, man! They did it so well. My only problem is that while they didn’t shy away from the suicide scene, I am also worried that it would be seen as a how-to guide? I don’t know. I’m glad that this show is raising awareness, because it’s definitely needed, but I’m really hoping there’s more conversation surrounding the impact this show could have on people.

    Nevertheless, I did enjoy the show!

    My mum is the same. I never had ‘the talk’ and even when I got my first boyfriend, she just told me to ‘be careful’. Like, could you please elaborate mother?

    I’d watch a season 2 if they kill Bryce.


  28. On April 18th, 2017, Gellie said,
  29. Now I really do want to watch it now. My sister has also already read the book but because she’s not into watching TV much, she opted to skip this. I’ve seen a lot of posts with regard to this series… Some or positive, some are negative so I was a bit hesitant. Husband said though that it’s a bit dark.

    I do not have any problem with regard to tackling sensitive issues such as suicide and rape. At this day and age, I guess we’ve come to realize that it’s better to talk about it than just avoiding the topic to make a seemingly peaceful facade.

    Gellie recently posted OOTD: Being Different and Breaking the RulesMy Profile


  30. On April 24th, 2017, Meghan said,
  31. This series really touched a nerve with me, I had a friend take her life and it had many unanswered questions.

    Meg |Instagram: MeghanSSilva
    Meghan recently posted My favorite Beauty D.I.Y.s … the recap.My Profile


    On April 26th, 2017, Gillan replied:

    @Meghan, I’m so sorry to hear that :( Hopefully, the series has spread awareness that suicide isn’t the answer and that our loved ones are always here to listen to us.


  32. On April 25th, 2017, Kim Vo said,
  33. To be honest, my parents (vietnamese) have never talked to me about sensitive topics either. They certainly don’t know that I binge-watched the show. I learned everything from school, my peers, and through personal experiences. 13 Reasons Why was super dramatic. I was relieved that I never had to experience anything that deep and negative in high school. But that’s not the case with everyone, so I hope the show helped others cope with their problems and/or start conversations with someone who can help them.

    Kim | Simply Lovebirds
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